Last week, while in London, Hannah Hart, that one off of My Drunk Kitchen on YouTube, organised a meet up in a pub down the road from my hotel. Brilliant, I thought, get to meet a YouTube starlet!!
En route to the meet up I gave myself an internal pep talk..."be cool, don't over do it and follow her round like she is the Messiah, don't want to seem desperate". However, when I arrived, it became obvious not everyone had had the same discussion with themselves.
One girl, upon arrival, shouted "I'VE SEEN YOU ON THE INTERNET"...she was dressed in scene kid attire circa 2004. Not cool person #1 - female.
Not cool person #2 - female remarked, loud enough for all to hear "Wow, I get to meet a cute girl and drink a beer"...brilliant now we all know you are a lesbian our lives are thoroughly enriched.
Not cool person #3 - female, a dick head girl who was on a campaign of intolerable, blatant arse licking. Hannah Hart also does regular vlogs on YouTube as well as cooking under the influence, so this girl felt it necessary to inform Hannah Hart of, what seemed like, her back catalogue of vlogs. She then thrust the camera in Hannah Hart's face announcing she was "making a vlog with Harto in it! How cool!". Bitch please.
I'm sure I probably seemed just as tragic as these guys, lets be honest you can't really attend such a meet up and "play it cool".
But, Jeeesus people were fawning over her all night, she's only on YouTube for fuck sake.
Heaven help any A-Lister than runs into one of the unfortunates I met that night.
I was clearly her fave though, not the arse lickers, brown nosers and desperate fans, but me.
Just look. No one else got a hug like that. Yeeeaa.
Ah, shit, looks like I am Not Cool Person #4 - male.
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